Visualising the way to Goal...

I was just messing around on My Virtual Model site, trying to occupy myself after work today, and thought I'd put the pics on here for comparison:

Now-18st 5.5........... 4 stone gone........... 6 stone gone

8 stone gone.......... ..Nearly 10st gone - Goal!!

Not very realistic representations, but good for a laugh. The current one particularly! I wish I looked that good in at swimming costume!!

So far so good...

Well yesterday I managed to stay within points and also attended 2 aqua aerobics classes, one deep water one in the morning which lasted 50mins and one in the evening which lasted 45mins. In total I earned a respectable 8 bonus points. I'm not going to eat them though! I even had a small tray of chip shop chips and chicken kebab meat, which I really enjoyed!!

This morning however I received a text which at first really annoyed me. I had a bit of a rant about it on the 5+ board, as when I got it I was pretty upset - I tend to overreact at first!! One little NSV which came from it was that I didn't feel the urge to binge!! Bonus!

Anyway, this was my post in case you missed it:

"I've just had a text from a girl who's hen party (and wedding) i have been invited to in October this year. Originally it was supposed to be an 80's themed affair with a meal and then on to Reflex (80's bar), so on the invite we were told we would have to dress up in 80's gear. Super! I love dressing up in silly stuff! So despite me not liking the Hen very much, i accepted the invite on the basis of it potentially being a good laugh. Now apparently she has changed her mind about the theme, saying she wants everyone to dress as 'sexy devils' with little black dresses and devil horns. She doesn't know i am trying to lose weight before her wedding, but she must know very well that many of us, me included, will look an absolute state in a little black dress!! She's not tiny herself- around a size 16- so i can't help feeling she's done this on purpose just to make herself look and feel better compared to the rest of us. I know at the end of the day, she's the bride, but it just seems a bit selfish and quite rude after i've already accepted the invite. I don't think i should go now. What do you think?"

The replies I got made me realise that I was being a bit of an idiot, and I came to the conclusion that I was mainly just annoyed at myself for not having lost the weight i wanted to so far to feel good about myself at her wedding or hen do. I am going to try my hardest to lose as much as possible before then, and if I have lost enough to feel good about myself, then maybe I will consider going to the Hen Party. The only reasons i'm going to the wedding are because the groom used to be a good friend, (until he met the demon bride) and all of my other nice friends will be there, so it should be good fun. Ah well. I shall have to see what I can acheive in the remaining 12 weeks!!

At the very least, it's given me something to aim for!!

Spinning Class Humilliation

I got up and went to a spinning class today, like I planned. So far so good! After the last time, I decided to take it a little easier, and It was fab. However, I had been messing around adjusting the bike at the start of the class to make it comfortable, and I obviously didn't have a clue what I was doing, because right at the end of the class, after doing a set of stand up cycling, I sat down hard on the seat and the seat fell off!!! And I very nearly fell off too!! It was so embarrassing!! It was a full class too, and I was one of the biggest people there, so I'm sure I knew what they were all thinking!! I came out of the class and just sat in my car and cried!

Such a shame, as I really enjoyed the class today, but I don't think I can face going back next week! :(

I am not going to binge because of this! I must not, and I will not!!!!!!!!

It's been a whole month.....

...since I last posted! That's not good. But to be honest, my progress hasn't been that fantastic either. Having just updated my stats on here, it has just dawned on me that I have lost only 4lbs over the past month. But at least it is a loss i suppose. Despite reaching my 10% goal last month, I have become quite disheartened. The first fortnight seemed to go really well though, as I was doing as many aqua aerobic classes as I could possibly get to, and even tried out a spinning class (or rpm studio cycling, as it's known around here).

The spinning class was brilliant, but really tough, but I was surprised at how much I could do. Although, I think for my first class I went a bit overboard, because when we were stretching out at the end of the class I started feeling really sick and woozy, and started seeing spots infront of my eyes! There were a few moments when I was convinced that I was going to have to vomit infront of the whole class, but managed to calm myself down and prevent that happening. When I got outside I had to sit down on a kerb with my head in my hands for a good half hour before the sicky feeling went away - I dreaded the thought of being sick in my car!! Anyway, I know that going to spinning that week definitely helped my weight loss efforts, as I lost 2.5lbs that week! So I am going to give it a go again tomorrow morning! I will post on here about it, if I survive!!

The other thing which has happened recently (and may have contributed to my general mood) is that I have received a wedding invitation from someone who I have issues with. Well, to be completely truthful I despise the woman! Which is rather a shame, because the guy she is marrying is lovely! He is a friend of my OH and I have known him for as long as I have been with my OH, which is nearly 5 years. She only came on the scene a couple of years ago, and initially I quite liked her. Since then, she has really shown her true colours; she has proved to be a totally superficial, money grabbing idiot with a superiority complex, the likes of which I have experienced before!! She has very little tact when attempting to assert herself, and as a result she has upset most of our circle of friends, including me! One of our other friends (male, the best man in fact!) has the theory that she is just really dumb, so much so that she doesn't realise what she is saying half the time. I don't know if I believe that. What's even more shocking is that I have also been invited to her 3-part Hen Party! She really must have no friends! Either that or she actually thinks I like her!

But anyway, she isn't exactly slim herself, probably around a 16/18, and apparently has no intention of slimming for the wedding, so when I found out last xmas that they were getting married, I had decided that I wanted to lose as much weight as I could before the wedding to "show" her. Pathetic really. The worst bit is, the wedding is in mid October this year, which leaves very little time left to lose a large amount of weight now, particularly at the rate I am going at the moment! It is really getting me down..

So much so, that during the middle of this week I ended up bingeing quite badly, and got to a real low point where I had locked myself in the bathroom, intending to be sick. I realised by doing that, I would have crossed the line into bullemic territory, so I didn't do it. I wasn't going to go to WI either, as I was so ashamed and disgusted with myself, but somehow I dragged my sorry @rse there, ready to face the consequences, to find that I had lost 1.5lbs!! However, I really felt like I didn't deserve it, and I know that unless I get back on track and exercise like a demon this week, at next WI I will most likely be facing a gain.

So I have slowly but surely been climing back on the wagon and I have started planning my week. Part of that will involve posting on here every day, and although I'm sure no-one ever reads it, I hope it will help me to stay on track!!

Here's to a better week this week!!